For some reason, I haven’t written in article in a couple of weeks. Sorry Charlie. Not sorry, because I hate Charlie. Anyways, a request came to my attention from Pantomime Dark Dave to do a list in the vein of his namesake. So I figured, why not. And with that, I bring you the top actors named Dave (or David).
5. David Schwimmer
To be fair, I hate David Schwimmer. Everything about him is punchable. From his face to his voice. Actually, why did I do this to myself? Now I can hear him talking. He is haunting me and I hate it. I hate you Dave for making me make this list.
4. David Spade
Wait. I don’t like David Spade either. What in the world? Why am I doing this to myself. There are so many better Davids out there. I need to whip this list into shape fast. Screw you DAVE!
3. David Krumholtz
Hmm. An interesting pick, if I do say so myself. I don’t hate him. But he is in a movie with one of the Worst Charlies. So now I am thinking about Charlie from Santa Clause. Damn it all, Dave. What is wrong with you? This is all your fault. You’ve ruined a perfectly good David.
2. David Hyde Pierce
Here, a safe pick. A great actor from a great show. There is no way Dave can ruin this pick. Actually, Dave likes Frasier. Wait, do you like Frasier? I think you do. You better. If you don’t, I will shoot a rocket through your bedroom window. Fart, I just don’t know what is reality any more.
1. David Duchovny
David Duchovny, why don’t you love me? There is no way Dave can ruin this pick. Duchovny is the perfect David. Everything about him, his style, his voice…wait…this is making me wistful. WISTFUL!