This was probably the most challenging lists I have ever created. Not because there was a lot of competition. But because of the sheer lack of famous Martins. To be fair, I did consider any person named Marty as well. But found there to be more characters named Marty than real people (Marty McFly, Marty Johnson). I also wish I could have included Martin Crane. Alas, he didn’t make the cut. But these people did!

5) Martin Sheen

From Apocalypse Now to The Departed, Sheen’s career has spanned a few decades. He is responsible for the birth of some other famous people. And he is a flashy silver fox. I would guess that he probably smells great and has a proper appreciation for fine scotch.

4) Martin Short

Short isn’t really short. I mean, he is below average. He definitely is not tall. But really, he just isn’t that short. Maybe his parents are short. Or his grandparents. I kind of actually like Martin Short. I think he is funny. When I was young, we used to watch The Three Amigos all the time. That should be a future episode. What do you think?

3) Martin Lawrence

Martin. Martin! MARTIN! Damn Gina. Martin Lawrence’s acting range hits from action to comedy. And to be fair, he is hilarious in action movies and menacing in comedy flicks. Wait, that can’t be right? Oh who cares. Black Knight!

2) Martin Freeman

Hmm. Martin Freeman is the same height as Martin Short. That doesn’t seem fair. Wait. Martin Lawrence is the same height as well. This can’t be accurate, can it? Oh my gosh. Upon further investigation, so is Martin Sheen. Maybe I should have just done a list of my favorite people who are 5’7.

1) Martin Starr

Oh darn. He isn’t the same height as all the other Martins. Oh well. I guess that makes sense as to why he is the top Martin. He is the tallest. I saw him once at a convention. I smiled, but he was looking in the other direction. So I count that as a better time than when I met Lou Ferrigno.

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