Top 5 Kids Martial Arts Movies

For some reason, the world used to have a fetish for putting children into brutal martial arts competitions. Maybe it was some sort of cross promotion with Panda Express to sell more dry orange chicken. Who knows. But throughout the 80s and 90s, we couldn’t get enough of watching kids fight one another or kids utilizing ancient techniques to foil adults. Whatever, here is the list:

5) Sidekicks (1992)

This little winner of a film featured the likes of Chuck Norris, and followed a bullied little wimp kid who dreamed of martial arts greatness. I’m surprised his name isn’t Charlie. But it is a cool movie by the guy who directed the Walker: Texas Ranger made for TV movie.

4) Three Ninjas (1992)

The title of this film cuts right to the core of the story. It has THREE ninjas in it. Get it? And they are kids. So that means they are instantly better than adults. This film launched into a full franchise which saw four total movies and ended with a 1998 film starring Hulk Hogan and luscious Loni Anderson.

3) Surf Ninjas (1993)

What if I told you that you can watch a movie that stars Rob Schneider, Tone Loc, and Leslie Nielsen. Comic gold! 1992 and 1993 were big years for martial arts movies aimed at children. But for me, Surf Ninjas was clearly the superior film of the bunch. The story was a little bit better, the actors were a little bit bigger, and the promotional tie-ins were a little bit more Game Geary.

2) The Karate Kid (1984)

You can’t have a kid’s karate movie list without the grandad film of Karate Kid. Some of the previous films had higher, more international stakes. But there is something undeniably similar to a story about a nerdy Charlie kid learning karate to gain the upper hand over his bullies. Oh wait. Damn you Sidekicks.

1) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Is this a stretch at number one? No. It’s not. This is the reason you scream “hiya” when you chop something. This is the reason you trained with a bow staff in the backyard. This is the reason why your favorite color probably coincides with your favorite turtle. Between the toys, comics, cartoon, and video games, TMNT was an martial arts obsession shared by many. Also, a future episode for sure.

Top 5 Sports Movies Ep. 94

This week on the podcast we are breaking down our top 5 sports movies of all time! This was such a hard list to put together, listen in to hear where we differ, what choices we agreed on and which ones we didn’t! You can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Castbox and YouTube. Click here to listen.

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Top 5 Best Puke Scenes in Movies

Puking. It is like burping with attitude. Whether you chuck, scrounge, barf, vomit, or straight up yodel, your body is working to move nasties out of itself. When it happens in life, it sucks. When it happens in movies, it is glorious. With that said, the Top 5 Best Puke Scenes in Movies:

5) I Love You, Man (2009)

I think this is the first time we get to touch on Paul Rudd. While this movie is a little out of our normal scope of time, it needed to be included for its pure hilarity. Also, that volume and velocity.

4) Kingpin (1996)

We have all done things we regret for money. Here, Roy Munson makes the ultimate sacrifice. But hey, he got that month’s rent free. I’m honestly impressed with the sheer volume he rewards the toilet with.

3) Problem Child 2 (1991)

Ah yes. This scene is the reason I got into writing. I find everything about this movie fascinating. But the fact that Junior pranks the hell out of so many people and turns them into a barfnado is pure awesomeness.

2) Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

This is comic gold, and totally wouldn’t hold up in today’s modern/progressive society (pronounced: stupid). Regardless, upon finding out that Einhorn is a man, Ace goes through one hell of a journey to rid his body of the cooties.

1) The Amityville Horror (1979)

Honestly, it was hard to select a top pick for this. Puke scenes are like pizza…even when its bad, it’s good. With that, I put my favorite as number one. Just listen to this beotch retch bloody murder. Sheesh. Someone give her a mint after this performance.

Idle Hands Ep. 93


This week on the podcast we cover the often imitated never duplicated mess that is Idle Hands! On the podcast we discuss our first Devon Sawa movie. We also discuss all of our favorite scenes and pinpoint where we feel like Idle Hands went off the track. It’s a tale of two movies and we put an interesting spin on it. Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcast, Castbox and YouTube. Click here to listen.

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Top 5 Toys Based on Movies

Movies are like butts, everybody loves them. They are so inspirational (movies, not butts). But what happens when someone is so inspired by a movie that they create a toy line based on that film? We get some really cool and fun action figures, that’s what. This was a difficult list to concoct because there were so many great officially licensed products in the 90s. But these were my favorite:

5) Demolition Man

First of all, Demolition Man is a great movie. It is a tale as old as time. Good vs. Evil and all that jazz. And what’s better is that it is Sylvester Stallone vs. Wesley Snipes. These toys were great because they were sturdy and one version of Simon Phoenix came with a flame thrower!

4) Hook

Such a fun bunch of action figures. I loved this set because there were so many options. No matter which Lost Boy you identified with, there was a toy for you. Bangarang!

3) Beetlejuice

Just what everyone wants…an Alec Baldwin action figure. He is appropriate for girls and ladies. I think everyone loves him. At least, most everyone. Plus, for some reason there was an Otho action figure.

2) Police Academy

For some reason, I not only love this movie, but I love these action figures. There were just so many of them. And my neighbor had them all. I was so jealous. I used to borrow them. How crazy is that? I used to borrow Steve Guttenberg from my neighbor.

1) Jurassic Park

This one is near and dear to my heart. These action figures included Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neil, and a buff Wayne Knight. Seriously, for some reason he was muscular…and cool looking. It would be like if Rambo were your IT guy.

Idle Hands Teaser Trailer

Look at me I am Leatherface! This week on teaser trailer we discuss the Horror/Comedy film, Idle Hands!  During the episode we break down the hilarious trailer, talk about the failures of Idle Hands at the box office and JD tries to guess how the critic’s will react to this beautiful mess. You can subsbribe to the podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcast, Castbox and Youtube. Click here to listen.

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Top 5 Movie Character Names

I think everyone on Earth has a name. And if you don’t, someone will probably call you “buddy” or “tiger”. But what about the world of cinema? So much goes into creating memorable characters, but even more time can be spent defining their background by giving them a memorable name. For the most part, I write a character first and then let them name themselves. Seems reasonable, right? So with the right amount of adieu, here are my Top 5 Favorite Movie Character Names:

5) Cole Trickle (Days Of Thunder, 1990)

This name is funny because it sounds dirty. It is such a powerful, yet goofy name. And its awesomeness is only amplified by the fact Cole Trickle is portrayed by Tom Cruise (not Tom Kruse, inventor of Hoveround).

4) Stanley Ipkiss (The Mask, 1994)

This name always made me LOL out loud as a kid. Not sure why. Maybe because Ipkiss sounds like UpDog. What’s UpDog? Nothing, what’s up with you?

3) Packard Walsh (The Wraith, 1986) 

Possibly one of the coolest movies ever (and a future episode for sure), The Wraith is filled with cool names. Rughead, Skank, Gutterboy…but there is only one name tougher than all the rest. Packard. Walsh. Such a great name for such a great villain.

2) Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Ark, 1981)

This kind of seems like a no-brainer. Who names their kid Indiana. Don’t fret, I know the backstory. But his name could just as easily be Alabama Norris. Or Mississippi Franklin. Or Tennessee Williams.

Let’s take a breather as this list was more difficult to conjure up than I thought it would. I will preface my number one pick by saying, “I know there are a lot of names out there. Like smells, everyone has one.” Yeah, whatever. I could have gone the easy route and made Shaft my number one. Or even Christmas Jones. Instead…

1) Buckaroo Banzai (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, 1984)

I’m a sucker for Peter Weller. Did you know that there was a football player for the Chicago Bears nicknamed “RoboCop” for looking like Alex Murphy. Who knew! Anyways, who names their kid Buckaroo. And how do you get the last name Banzai. I feel like he should be a DLC character in the Karate Kid universe.

Leave me your love or hate for your favorite or least favorite names!

JD’s Rants

Dear World,

It has come to my attention that there is a lot of content that you are wanting us to cover…and so little time. In light of that, I decided to branch out and do a regular blog to help you get your quick fix of cinema and comedy. If you disagree with my topics, pics, features, or focus…well, then we can fight about it. Otherwise, enjoy and engage with us as we continue our journey through time. Feel free to post comments on quick topics you want me to touch on. Or tweet me your love at @unjustjustin.

Catch you on the flippity flip.

Cordially,

JD

Bloodsport Ep. 92

This week for episode 92 we are joined by @B2the4thpower form the Angry Dad Podcast as we review the 1988 Martial Arts/Action film, Bloodsport! We laugh hysterically throughout the episode, breakdown the film scene by scene, this is a fun episode to listen to if you are a fan of this film. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, GooglePlay, Castbox Fm and YouTube.  Click here to listen.

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